Stephen Hawking is NOT dead but aliens will eat your face off

The Discovery channel  just aired “Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking: Aliens.”  In which Stephen Hawking, who is still alive at the age of 68, explains some fundamental reasons sentient aliens would visit Earth.  You will be alarmed to know it would most likely be to strip Earth of resources and continue their nomadic journey through space.

In Stephen Hawking’s vast and beautiful  mind he determines our first contact with sentient aliens is disastrous? That if nomadic aliens come to Earth it is to chew and screw?  This is based on the assumption that they would be … oh crap … like us?  Self preserving.

Think about it.  Put on your Hawkings cap and think about what we would do if we were nomadic.  If we were, perhaps,  the last of our species wandering the universe looking for Eden.  What would humans do to survive?  Having seen civilization break down in a stalled train, it doesn’t take too much imagination.  A simple threat of no food, no water, and no toilet starts to make your 32 oz drink look like your best friend and worse enemy.

Food, water, and fuel would be the top three concerns with ship repair a close fourth.  Nomadic space travelers would need to resupply and prepare to travel for quite some time before reaching another galactic oasis.  If the nomads are stressed by lack of one of the top three concerns it would be a quick Machiavellian thought to strip a populated planet.

On that thought let me leave you with the top ten Machiavellian, “The end justifies the means”, decisions to strip a populated planet:

1. “Strip a populated planet?  Why not?  We are the last of our species.”
2. “We have monitored their transmissions and they seem so unhappy anyway they shouldn’t mind or notice.”
3. “Salt water makes us melt which means the planet is a giant WMD.”
4. “They eat meat?!”
5. “They eat plants?!”
6. “Their reproductive organ is next to their waste expulsion.”
7. “It is divine providence we have found this planet.  We are truly God’s favored.”
8. “The Senate won’t pass the health care bill unless we are assured of food and water.  How healthy can we be without food and water?”
9. “The planet populace has a unique organ that provides the serum we need to save our children.”
10. “Hey, buddy!  Your planet is blocking the solar system.  Move it or lose it!”

P.S. As of the writing of this article, April 29, 2010, Stephen Hawking is still alive, coping with ALS, and bound to a wheelchair.  Stephen Hawking is 68 years old (date of birth: January 8, 1942).

This blog article is not associated with nor promotes the Discovery channel or Stephen Hawkings.